Photo by Jason Rosewell on Unsplash
“There is no greater agony than
bearing an untold story inside you.”
~~ Maya Angelou
Greetings to all my precious people!
Last month on Mother’s Day, I wrote about the first voice you ever heard: your mother’s voice.
Today, I’m writing about the voice she gave you. Not just the sound of your voice (though that’s part of it). But the POWER of your voice. The capacity to name what you see, speak what you know, call things by their true names, say NO and mean it, say YES and claim it, take up sonic space in the world.
Your mother gave you this. Through her body. Through her voice teaching you language. Through the vocal cords she grew inside you.
And then—over years of conditioning—you learned to silence it.
How Women Learn to Silence Their Voices
Research shows girls’ voices literally CHANGE around age 11-12:
Before puberty: Girls speak with full vocal power, voice comes from belly not just throat, confident, loud, unapologetic.
After puberty (and cultural conditioning): Girls’ voices rise (speaking from throat not diaphragm), vocal fry, upspeak, apologetic tone, making themselves SOUND smaller, less threatening.
Why? Because culture teaches girls: loud women are “unladylike,” strong opinions are “bitchy,” direct speech is “aggressive,” taking up sonic space is “rude.”
So women learn to: speak quietly, use upspeak (turn statements into questions), apologize constantly (“sorry to bother you, but…”), whisper truth instead of proclaiming it.
We literally SHRINK our voices to make others comfortable.
The Body-Voice Connection
Here’s what most people don’t understand:
Your voice is not separate from your body. Voice IS body.
Anatomically: Voice requires breath (diaphragm, lungs), posture (spine, shoulders, chest open), grounding (feet connected to earth), POWER (belly, pelvic floor, full body engagement).
When you speak from the throat only: Voice is thin, weak, apologetic.
When you speak from BODY: Voice has power, resonance, authority.
Chinese Medicine teaches:
Lungs house Po (corporeal soul) – your voice carries your SOUL
Throat is Liver territory – when Liver Qi stagnates (unexpressed anger/truth), throat closes
Heart opens to tongue – what Heart knows, tongue must speak
Your body WANTS you to speak. Your organs want expression. Your Qi wants flow. Silence creates stagnation. Voice creates movement.
Speaking From Body vs. Speaking From Head
Most women speak from HEAD (thinking mind): Overthinking every word, editing before speaking, second-guessing, apologizing preemptively, “Is this okay to say? Will they judge me?”
This creates: Anxious, performative speech that doesn’t land with power.
Speaking from BODY (somatic voice): Feeling what wants to be said FIRST, speaking from gut/womb/heart (Three Centers), trusting the words that arise, not editing for palatability, “This is true. This must be spoken.”
This creates: Grounded, powerful speech that lands like TRUTH.
The Practice: Reclaiming Vocal Power
PART 1: Body-Voice Integration (10 min daily)
Stand grounded (feet hip-width, knees soft)
Breathe into belly (diaphragmatic breathing)
Place hand on belly
Hum (feel vibration in chest, belly, whole body)
Gradually louder (fill the room with sound)
Speak from belly: “I speak my truth. My voice matters. I will not whisper.”
Do this DAILY until your voice lives in your body, not just your throat.
PART 2: Speaking Without Apology
Notice how often you: Start sentences with “sorry” or “just” or “I think maybe…”, end statements with upspeak (turning them into questions), soften your truth to make it more palatable.
Practice: Remove apologetic language. Speak in statements, not questions. Let your voice be LOUD enough to be heard. Don’t repeat yourself if someone didn’t listen the first time.
PART 3: The Howl
Once a week, go somewhere alone (nature, your car, empty house).
And HOWL: Sound from your belly, as loud as you can, let grief/rage/joy/desire ALL come through. This is not pretty. This is REAL.
Wild Woman needs the howl. Your body needs sonic release.
Why This Matters for Midlife Women
Midlife is when the voice MUST return. Perimenopause/menopause brings: rage (Liver Qi rising—unexpressed truth DEMANDING release), clarity (no more patience for bullshit), urgency (time is running out, truth must be spoken NOW).
Your body is FORCING you to speak through symptoms (body screaming what you won’t say), through anger (all the years of swallowed truth), through the refusal to perform anymore.
This is not “hormonal.” This is INITIATION. Into Crone. Into Wild Woman. Into the woman who speaks truth without apology.
The Invitation:
The 1:1 COACH Intensive includes vocal reclamation: finding your embodied voice (speaking from body not head), practicing sonic sovereignty (taking up space with sound), identifying where you still apologize/whisper/soften, building practices for daily vocal power. Your mother gave you this voice. Time to USE it.
P.S. Your mother gave you vocal cords. Culture taught you to silence them. Wild Woman is teaching you to HOWL. Your voice is not separate from your body. Your voice IS your body speaking. Will you let it?
