Photo by Alaeddin Hallak on Unsplash
“We ask ourselves, who am I
to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?”
~~ Marianne Williamson
Greetings to all my precious people!
Your mother’s body taught you your first lesson about space:
You belong here.
Inside her womb, you took up space without apology. You grew. You moved. You EXPANDED. Her body made room for you—not because you earned it, not because you stayed small. Because you existed.
And then you were born. And over the years, culture taught you the opposite: take up less space (lose weight, don’t be “too much”), be smaller (quieter, nicer, more agreeable), apologize for existing, make yourself convenient for everyone but yourself.
You learned to SHRINK.
But here’s what I need you to understand: Your body is not an apology. And taking up space is not selfish. It’s RECLAMATION.
What Taking Up Space Actually Means
It’s not about being loud or aggressive. It’s not about dominating or taking FROM others. Taking up space means:
- Not shrinking your body to fit beauty standards
- Not dimming your voice so others feel comfortable
- Not apologizing for needs, boundaries, opinions
- Not making yourself small so others feel big
- Not performing gratitude for basic respect
- Not contorting yourself to fit spaces not designed for you
Your mother’s body taught you this FIRST. Inside her womb, you expanded, you kicked, you moved. You took up ALL the space you needed to grow. And she made room. Not because you were polite.
Because that’s what mothers do: make SPACE for life to grow.
Why Women Are Taught to Shrink
Let’s be honest: Women are taught to shrink because patriarchy requires our smallness to maintain its power.
When women:
- Take up space → “too much,” “aggressive,” “difficult”
- Speak loudly → “shrill,” “emotional,” “hysterical”
- Have strong opinions → “bossy,” “opinionated,” “bitchy”
- Set boundaries → “selfish,” “cold,” “unlikeable”
- Refuse to perform → “ungrateful,” “demanding,” “entitled”
The message is clear: Your existence is only acceptable if it’s SMALL, QUIET, and CONVENIENT.
But midlife doesn’t allow smallness anymore. Your body is changing. Your voice is rising. Your truth is DEMANDING to be spoken. The Wild and Wise Woman is returning. And she refuses to shrink.
What Happens When You Stop Shrinking
When you reclaim space, you reclaim POWER:
Physically: You stop trying to make your body smaller. You move with confidence, not apology. You take up the whole chair, the whole sidewalk, the whole room.
Vocally: You speak without “I’m sorry” or “just” or “maybe.” You interrupt back when interrupted. You say NO without explanation.
Energetically: You stop dimming yourself so others shine. You claim your expertise, wisdom, authority. You let yourself be SEEN (even when uncomfortable).
Relationally: You set boundaries without guilt. You expect respect, not gratitude for not being treated poorly. You leave spaces/people that require your smallness.
This is not selfishness. This is SOVEREIGNTY.
The Practice: Embodied Space-Taking
Daily practice (5 min):
Stand with feet hip-width apart:
Feel your weight, feel the ground beneath you
Extend arms wide:
THIS is how much space you occupy. Not apologizing. Just IS.
Speak aloud:
“I take up space. My body is not an apology. I belong here.”
Notice resistance:
Inner Critic will say “this is selfish” or “who do you think you are?”
Respond:
“I am a woman reclaiming what mother’s body taught me first: I belong.”
Do this DAILY.
In your body.
Out loud.
Because taking up space is a PRACTICE, not a destination.
Invitation:
If you’re ready to stop shrinking, reclaim your space, speak without apology, exist fully in your body—the 1:1 COACH Intensive helps you do exactly this. Your mother’s body taught you to take up space. Now it’s time to remember.
P.S. Inside your mother’s womb, you expanded without apology. You took up all the space you needed to GROW. Culture taught you to shrink. Midlife is teaching you to expand again. Your body is not an apology. Will you reclaim your space?
