Photo by Pao Dayag on Unsplash
“Because true belonging only happens when
we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world,
our sense of belonging can never be greater than
our level of self-acceptance.”
~~ Brené Brown
Greetings to all my precious people!!
We have arrived at the final Friday of 2025. The space between years. The liminal time when one cycle has completed and another hasn’t quite begun.
This is the deepest winter when Water season is at its peak. Maximum yin. The darkest dark before the light slowly returns. And our culture desperately wants to rush through this. To skip the fertile void. To jump straight into New Year’s resolutions, vision boards, and “New Year, New You” transformation programs.
But the soul knows better.
The soul knows that winter is not for doing. Winter is for BEING. For incubation. For letting the seeds planted (consciously or unconsciously) rest in the dark soil where no one can see them.
You cannot rush a seed.
It knows what it will become. It carries the blueprint encoded in its very structure. But it needs the DARK. It needs the QUIET. It needs the TRUST that even though nothing seems to be happening on the surface, everything essential is happening below.
This is where we are now.
What Water Season Teaches Us
In Chinese Medicine, Water is the element of winter. It corresponds to:
- The Kidneys and Bladder (the organs that hold our essence, our deepest reserves)
- The emotion of FEAR (but also wisdom that emerges when we face it)
- The color BLACK (the fertile void, the womb, the mystery)
- The direction NORTH (where we turn inward, where guidance comes from deep within)
- The time of MIDNIGHT (when the world sleeps and dreams become possible)
Water is about TRUST.
Water doesn’t plan where it flows. It doesn’t force its way through obstacles. It finds the path of least resistance. It trusts the pull of gravity, the shape of the land, the ancient wisdom of flow.
And winter—true winter—is the season of NOT KNOWING.
The season of rest. Of deep, dark, fertile stillness where seeds germinate below the surface. Where roots grow deeper even as the world above looks barren.
You cannot rush this. You cannot “figure out” what wants to grow in the dark soil.
Your only job is to create the conditions for emergence. To trust the process. To let yourself be held by the dark.
The Problem with New Year’s Resolutions
Let me be clear: I’m not against intention-setting. I’m not opposed to reflection or vision for the year ahead.
But I am deeply opposed to the way our culture weaponizes January against us. The messaging is relentless: “New Year, New You. Transform yourself. Lose weight. Make more money. Be more productive. Fix everything that’s wrong with you. Start fresh. Become someone different.”
This is violence against the soul.
It tells you that who you are RIGHT NOW in all your messy, imperfect, beautifully human reality is not enough. That you need to BECOME someone else. That your worthiness is contingent on transformation.
And it completely ignores the wisdom of the season.
We’re in WATER. In winter. In the fertile dark. This is not the time for striving. Not the time for aggressive goal-setting. Not the time for forcing growth that hasn’t organically emerged.
This is the time for INCUBATION. For TRUST. For letting what wants to come FIND YOU.
Setting an Energetic Template (Not a To-Do List)
So what DO we do in this final week of the year? How do we honor the transition without falling into the trap of resolution culture?
We set an energetic template.
Not goals (which are about DOING and ACHIEVING).
Not resolutions (which imply you’re currently failing).
But an intention for WHO YOU WANT TO BE as you move through 2026.
This is about FREQUENCY, not accomplishment.
It’s asking: Who do I want to become? What quality do I want to embody? How do I want to FEEL as I move through this year?
And here’s the radical part: you don’t need to know HOW it will unfold.
You plant the seed. You set the intention. You create the conditions. And then you TRUST the dark soil of the coming months to do its work.
The seed knows what it will become. So do you even if your mind doesn’t yet.
This Week’s Ritual: Planting Your Seed Intention
This is not a quick practice. This is a ceremony of closure and opening—honoring what has been, welcoming what wants to emerge. Give it the time and reverence it deserves.
What you’ll need:
A quiet, uninterrupted hour (ideally on December 31 or January 1, but any day this week works)
- Candles
- Journal and pen
- A small bowl of water (to represent Water season)
- Optional: a seed or bulb to physically plant (either indoors or, if the ground isn’t frozen, outside)
Part 1: COMPLETION — Honor 2025 (15-20 minutes)
Before you set intentions for what’s next, you must honor what has BEEN. This is how we close cycles with integrity.
Light a candle. Place your hand on your heart. Take three deep breaths.
Ask yourself:
What did I shed in 2025? (roles, relationships, stories, patterns)
What did I learn? (about myself, about life, about what truly matters)
What am I grateful for? (even, and especially, the difficult things that grew me)
What is COMPLETE? (what chapter is closing? what am I ready to release?)
Write freely. Let tears come if they want to. This is grief that clears the way.
This is the exhale before the inhale.
When you feel complete, thank 2025 for everything it taught you. Blow out the candle with gratitude.
Part 2: REMEMBERING — Reconnect to Your Essence (10-15 minutes)
Light a fresh candle. Place both hands on your heart. Close your eyes.
Remember everything we’ve explored this December:
- You are made of stardust
- You carry ancient wisdom in your cells
- Your soul fire (Shen) is yours to tend
- You are here to walk specific people home
- You’ve always had the magic
From this place of remembering, ask:
Who am I beneath all the roles? (your essence, your essential self)
What is my soul fire here to DO? (not accomplish—but what aliveness wants to move through you)
What frequency do I want to EMBODY in 2026? (how do you want to feel as you move through the year?)
Don’t answer with your mind. Let your BODY show you.
You’ll know the truth by the resonance. The YES that rises from your gut. The warmth in your chest. The tears that come unbidden.
Write down what arises. This is your true north.
Part 3: INTENTION — Plant Your Seed (15-20 minutes)
Now, from this connected place, it’s time to plant your intention for 2026.
Not a goal. Not a resolution. An ENERGETIC TEMPLATE.
Ask yourself: What FREQUENCY do I want to embody in 2026?
Choose 1-3 WORDS that feel TRUE. That make your soul fire burn brighter. That resonate in your bones.
Examples:
- EMBODIMENT (living from my body’s wisdom)
- TRUST (surrendering to what wants to unfold)
- ALIVENESS (choosing what lights my fire)
- COURAGE (taking aligned action even when I’m scared)
- SOVEREIGNTY (honoring my needs unapologetically)
- FLOW (moving with Wu Wei, not forcing or striving)
- SERVICE (offering my gifts from overflow, walking my people home)
Write your words in your journal. Big. Bold. Clear.
Then create a simple declaration:
“In 2026, I embody [YOUR WORDS]. I trust what wants to emerge through me. I plant this seed intention and trust the dark soil to nourish it. I don’t need to know how—I only need to tend the conditions and trust the unfolding.”
Speak this aloud. Let your voice carry it into the world.
If you have a physical seed or bulb, plant it now—either in a pot or outside. As you place it in the dark soil, say:
“As this seed grows, so does my intention. I trust what I cannot yet see.”
Part 4: INCUBATION — Trust the Dark (10 minutes)
This is the most important part. The hardest part. The most countercultural part.
You don’t DO anything with your intention.
You don’t make a plan. You don’t map out the steps. You don’t create a strategy for “making it happen.”
You LET IT INCUBATE.
Seeds don’t grow because you dig them up to check on them. They grow because you leave them alone in the fertile darkness and TRUST THE PROCESS.
Your only job in the coming weeks and months is to:
- Hold the frequency (embody your intention in small daily choices)
- Trust the process (even when you can’t see progress)
- Tend your fire (keep your Shen alive and tended)
- Stay present (to what’s here NOW, not what’s next)
The rest will emerge in its own time.
Close your ceremony by pouring the bowl of water onto the earth (or a plant) as an offering. Say:
“I trust Water. I trust winter. I trust the dark.
I trust what wants to emerge through me.”
Blow out your candles. It is done.
What I’m Planting
I want to share my own seed intention for 2026 because vulnerability builds trust, and because you deserve to know what I’m embodying as I walk this path with you.
My word for 2026: EMBODIMENT.
I want to walk my talk. To offer from overflow, not depletion. To let my work be an extension of my aliveness, not a performance of worthiness. To trust my body’s wisdom more than my mind’s strategies.
I am also planting: TRUST.
Releasing the grip on “how” and surrendering to what wants to unfold through me. Trusting that the women I’m meant to serve will find me. Trusting that I have enough. Trusting that I AM enough.
And finally: SACRED SERVICE.
Not the martyred kind. But the kind that flows from tended fire. Walking women home by midwifing their emergence—not fixing them, but witnessing them as they remember their own magic.
What are you planting, friend?
A Final Invitation
As we close 2025 and enter 2026, I want to say this clearly:
If you feel called to the work we’ve been exploring this December—the work of remembering, reclaiming, tending your fire, coming home to yourself—I’m here.
I have a few spots available for 1:1 intensive work beginning in January. This is deep, embodied, transformational work using the C.O.A.C.H. Method framework I’ve developed over 19 years of clinical practice:
- Curiosity (radical openness to what is)
- Optimism (science-backed hope as daily practice)
- Awareness (authentic presence, body wisdom)
- Courage (heart-centered aligned action)
- Healing (mind-body-spirit integration)
Six sessions over 6-8 weeks. Email support between sessions. Practices and recordings you can return to again and again.
This is not for everyone. It’s for women who are READY. Who are tired of banking their fire. Who recognize that midlife is not a crisis to fix but a passage to honor.
If that’s you—if your soul fire is demanding to be tended, if you’re ready to plant your seed intention with support and witnessing—let’s talk.
You can reply to this email or schedule a free conversation for curiosity. No pressure. No hard sell. Just an honest conversation about whether this work is right for you right now.
As we cross this threshold together, I want to thank you for being here. For reading these words. For tending your own fire. For trusting the dark.
You are not broken. You are not behind. You are exactly where you need to be.
The seed knows what it will become. So do you.
Trust the dark soil. Trust the process. Trust yourself.
2026 is going to be extraordinary—not because you’ll accomplish everything on a list, but because you’ll become more YOURSELF than you’ve ever been.
And that is what the world needs.
P.S. In January, my Friday newsletters will shift to the theme of EMERGENCE—what happens when seeds begin to sprout, when the light returns, when the work of winter starts to show itself. We’ll explore how to move with the energy of the new year without falling into hustle culture. I’ll see you there—rested, incubated, ready.
For now: plant your seeds. Trust the dark. Come home to yourself.
So the darkness
shall be the light ,
and the stillness the dancing.
~~ T. S. Eliot
