You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe,
deserve your love and affection.
~~ Buddha
Greetings to all my precious people!!
Major transition and recalibration is the highlight of this week and beyond, as Saturn enters the fire sign Aries on May 24, for the first time in nearly three decades. Saturn represents the archetype of The Wise Old One in Jungian psychology, embodying the aspects of maturity, stability and grounded realism, and it reminds us that time stands still for no one. Between now and 2028, be on the lookout for the reality checks we didn’t choose but surely need. The resistance we manifest, the magical thinking we utilize, the beliefs we were handed down and cling to without question. Saturn is responsible for throwing up obstacles so that we might face them, gain resilience and continue to grow and evolve into a new life stage.
Saturn is our gift of late—supporting our slow movement as we gain wisdom through our lived experience, and begin to clear the foundation of our true potential. Living according to our own terms, not looking to be rescued, following our own inner compass that is aligned with our passion and purpose. We begin to find a rhythm and a sense of Self when we stop trying to force ourselves to fit into a constricted or outdated paradigm. When we choose to do what matters, not what is easy. When we continue to do the work without a need or expectation of approval or applause. When we sink into our authentic self and stop curating our social media feeds.
Saturn, the Wise Old One, is asking us to consider:
- What no longer serves you—and perhaps never did?
- What is pushing you to collaborate with the inevitable?
- Which small sparks of inspiration are ready to be fanned into flames?
Many years ago, hospice caregiver Bronnie Ware wrote about the thoughts of the dying people she had supported in their last weeks and days of life. One phrase, in particular, summed up their greatest regret: I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
Consider this question: What does it mean to live true to yourself? Do you feel your life is aligned with what matters most to your heart? Are you living true to yourself in this moment, in these times? The truth is that this particular regret of the dying also stands true for many of us still living our ordinary lives.
So how can we begin the journey home to our heart aligned path? How can we redirect our intention and attention to being more present and courageous? Researchers in neuroscience as well as human psychology and development point us in the direction of self-compassion.
Self-compassion. For many, this word sounds gentle, soft, even passive. A quiet act of kindness tucked into meditation corners or whispered in moments of solitude.
But what if I told you that true self-compassion is radical and perhaps even fierce? That it is not weakness, but the wellspring of strength? Not a retreat, but instead, revelation? This is our call to radical and fierce self-compassion—not as a luxury or afterthought, but as a daily, embodied, and revolutionary act. Drawing on the vital work of Tara Brach PhD, Dr. Kristin Neff, and Dr. David Hamilton you are invited to reimagine self-compassion as a bold practice that transforms not just individuals, but families, workplaces, and the world.
Dr. Kristin Neff distinguishes between tender and fierce self-compassion. Tender self-compassion is the soothing voice that says, “I see your pain. I’m here.” Fierce self-compassion, on the other hand, stands up and says, “This is not okay. I will protect myself. I will act.”
It is inner fire married to inner care, like the fierce mama bear who defends her cubs, fierce self-compassion defends our worth, sets boundaries, and drives action toward justice, healing, and change.
Tara Brach PhD teaches us that radical compassion includes our whole selves—even the parts we were taught to exile. In naming and embracing our vulnerabilities, we meet our power. We become whole. We return to what she calls “the loving awareness” that is our true nature.
Self-compassion is not self-indulgence. It’s self-liberation.
In a world that profits off our self-criticism, exhaustion, and silence, choosing to be kind to yourself is an act of rebellion. It is a refusal to internalize the voice of oppression, perfectionism, or shame.
And it is not just a private affair. As Dr. David Hamilton reminds us through his work on the science of kindness, “kindfulness”—the fusion of mindfulness and compassion, has ripple effects. When we extend compassion to ourselves, we are more able to extend it to others. We actually shift the field around us.
But this isn’t just spiritual theory. This is neuroscience!!
Every time we practice self-compassion, we shift the brain out of survival mode. The amygdala, the brain’s threat detector, begins to quiet. Simultaneously, regions associated with empathy and emotional regulation—like the insula and anterior cingulate cortex—light up. (Longe et al., 2010). We move from the threat system—flooded with cortisol and fear—into the soothing system, where oxytocin and safety live. We come home to ourselves.
When we stop attacking ourselves, we can see more clearly what needs to change—inside and out. Fierce self-compassion opens our inner vision, grounding us in truth, not self-punishment. And research shows that self-compassion strengthens the brain’s prefrontal cortex, improving decision-making and mental flexibility—even in the midst of distress. (Mor et al., 2014).
Self-compassion is a shock absorber for the nervous system. It increases distress tolerance, allowing us to face setbacks, grief, and uncertainty without crumbling. Even the simple act of placing a hand over the heart or offering ourselves soothing words has measurable effects—releasing oxytocin, reducing inflammatory markers like IL-6, and even lengthening telomeres, the biological markers of aging. (Psychoneuroendocrinology, 2017).
We have been conditioned to believe that harshness breeds motivation. But studies show the opposite: People who practice self-compassion are more likely to learn from failure, persist in their goals, and try again—not because they’re afraid of themselves, but because they feel safe enough to grow. (Breines & Chen, 2012).
This kind of courage isn’t noisy. It’s cellular.
Neuroscience confirms what mystics have long said: When we treat ourselves with compassion, our capacity to empathize and bond with others grows. As we regulate our own inner world, we become safer to be around. We model a new way of being—where accountability and care coexist.
Practical Tools for Daily Practice
Here are simple, science-backed ways to begin practicing fierce self-compassion in your daily life:
- The Self-Compassion Break (Neff): In a moment of struggle, pause and say:
- “This is a moment of suffering.”
- “Suffering is a part of life.”
- “May I be kind to myself in this moment.”
These phrases help activate the soothing system, calming the nervous system and regulating emotion.
- RAIN (Brach):
- Recognize what’s going on.
- Allow the experience to be there.
- Investigate with gentle curiosity.
- Nurture with kindness.
This mindfulness-based tool helps build emotional resilience and rewires the brain for presence and compassion.
- Kindfulness Moments (Hamilton): Place your hand on your heart. Breathe. Offer yourself kindness. This act of embodied compassion changes your heart rate variability and stimulates the vagus nerve, promoting calm and connection.
- Fierce Boundary Setting: Practice saying no with love and clarity. Every time you protect your energy, you reinforce the neural pathways of self-worth.
When we practice fierce self-compassion, we stop dimming our light to fit in or avoid conflict. We start showing up as real, whole, and unapologetic humans.
And when we show up in our power, we give others permission to do the same. This isn’t self-help—it’s collective transformation. Your self-compassion doesn’t stay in your body. It ripples into every system you’re a part of: your family, your work, your culture.
You heal the field just by being more fully and compassionately yourself.
This is your invitation.
To soften and to roar.
To forgive yourself and fight for yourself.
To rest, rise, and reclaim.
Let us be the ones who model a new kind of strength: the strength that begins in kindness. The courage that begins in care.
Let fierce self-compassion be the revolution that begins in your own body, breath, and being—and radiates outward in every word, relationship, and act of service.
In accordance with the privilege of sharing one of the regrets of the dying, please take note of the following—Bio: Bronnie Ware spent several years caring for dying people in their homes. Her full-length memoir, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, shares further wisdom from dying people and how Bronnie’s own life was transformed through this learning. It is available in 32 languages.
