The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.
~~ Joseph Campbell
Greetings to all my precious people!!
My travels across the pond served as the good medicine needed for restoration. Ireland is known for its high standard of living, with a strong focus on work-life balance, a vibrant sense of community and a more relaxed culture compared to the fast-moving lifestyle of New York. People tend to prioritize spending time with family and friends, enjoying the “craic” (KRAK) which translates to good times, friendly conversations, and fun experiences. I witnessed this on a daily basis, with folks gathering along the green expanses just sitting around and talking! People were outdoors, enjoying the fresh air and early morning mist, when you could hear the birds chirping and watch the village square come alive with activity. Time was measured in togetherness and not hours.
I brought the slower pace of Ireland back home with me. Despite arriving in New York during crazy thunderstorms, a worldwide tech outage, and multiple shifts in the political landscape, the softness of my ancestral country remains. Allowing space in our daily schedules for the ordinary moments provides the opportunity to witness the magical and mystical sparks of synchronicity. The ever present connection to a source that runs through all living things weaves us together and these moments of the magical and mystical are happening all the time – we simply need to pay attention.
But it is not easy to be present in these moments when we lack the internal connections to our own Self. There is interference in the communication pathways, with blockages and disconnections of our own making. Yet, it is possible to not only identify where the connections are missing, but also to cultivate and curate a space of softness within us.
Self-compassion is the process of turning compassion inward. It is the practice of treating oneself with kindness, understanding, and support, rather than harsh self-criticism when we fail, make mistakes, or feel inadequate. It is when we give ourselves encouragement rather than being judgmental when challenges and difficulties arise in our lives. It is about recognizing that suffering, failure, and imperfection are part of the human experience and being gentle with oneself in the face of this reality.
Research indicates that self-compassion is one of the most powerful sources of coping and resilience we have available. It can radically improve our mental and physical wellbeing. It motivates us to make changes and reach our goals. It dares us to be courageous, enthusiastic and creative.
According to Dr. Kristin Neff, the pioneering researcher in self-compassion and one of the most influential scholars in the field of psychology, there are three core components of self-compassion:
- Self-kindness vs. Self-judgment: Being warm and understanding toward ourselves when we suffer, fail, or feel inadequate, rather than ignoring our pain or being overly self-critical.
- Common humanity vs. Isolation: Recognizing that suffering and personal inadequacy are part of the shared human experience – something that we all go through rather than something that happens to “me” alone.
- Mindfulness vs. Over-identification: Holding our painful thoughts and feelings in balanced awareness rather than over-identifying with them or suppressing them.
Research supports the numerous benefits of practicing self-compassion:
Psychological Well-being:
- Reduced Anxiety and Depression: Self-compassion is strongly associated with lower levels of anxiety and depression. Individuals who practice self-compassion are less likely to ruminate on negative experiences and more likely to recover from stressful events.
- Greater Emotional Resilience: Those with higher self-compassion are better equipped to handle emotional challenges and setbacks, showing greater resilience and a quicker return to emotional equilibrium.
Physical Health:
- Healthier Lifestyle Choices: People with higher levels of self-compassion are more likely to engage in healthy behaviors such as regular exercise, a balanced diet, and getting sufficient sleep. They are also more likely to seek medical help when needed.
- Lower Stress Levels: Self-compassionate individuals tend to have lower levels of stress and physiological stress markers, such as cortisol, indicating a better ability to cope with stress.
Relationships:
- Improved Relationships: Self-compassion is linked to healthier and more satisfying relationships. People who are compassionate toward themselves tend to be more compassionate and understanding toward others, leading to more positive social interactions.
Academic and Professional Performance:
- Greater Motivation and Persistence: Contrary to the belief that self-compassion leads to complacency, research suggests that self-compassionate individuals are more motivated to achieve their goals. They are more persistent in the face of failure and more likely to take a growth mindset approach to challenges.
Interventions and Practices:
Several interventions and practices can help cultivate self-compassion:
- Mindfulness and Meditation: Practices such as mindfulness meditation can increase self-awareness and help individuals develop a more compassionate attitude toward themselves. A good local resource is Laurence Magro, a skilled facilitator of the Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) method pioneered by Jon Kabat-Zinn.
- Self-Compassion Exercises: Writing exercises, such as writing a letter to oneself from the perspective of a compassionate friend, can help foster self-compassion. Elizabeth Gilbert, American journalist and New York Times bestselling author started writing love letters to herself daily 25 years ago during a time of deep depression and anxiety. She sometimes describes the letters as dialogues between herself and Love, and suggests imagining what she would want someone else to say to her as a prompt for writing. She describes it as a transformative spiritual practice that has helped her believe in the universe’s kindness and intelligence. Take a listen to this interview of her with Jonathan Fields: Love Letters to Self.
- Therapeutic Approaches: Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT) is a form of evidence-based psychotherapy that builds on cognitive, behavioral and psychodynamic therapies by integrating the neuroscience of positive emotion, methods derived from Buddhist psychology, and evolutionary science.
Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries.
Without them, humanity cannot survive.
~~ The Dalai Lama
So how can we begin a new practice to support and cultivate self-compassion?
One day at a time is always my mantra and I encourage you to embrace this as well.
A great starting point is to engage with a daily letter to your Self, as Elizabeth Gilbert practices. Begin with a blank piece of paper and the following writing prompt:
Dear love, what would you have me know today?
Another practice that you can incorporate is choosing to take your Self on a walk.
Mindful walking invites us to reconnect with our bodies and the ground beneath our feet. This practice isn’t just about movement; it’s about bringing our full attention to each step we take. As we walk, we are reminded to slow down, breathe deeply, and become present in the moment. This intentional awareness can transform our daily walks into a moving meditation, calming our minds and soothing our spirits.
The benefits of mindful walking extend beyond the physical. When we walk with awareness, we cultivate a sense of inner peace and clarity. This practice helps to quiet the mental chatter and stress that often cloud our minds. By focusing on the rhythm of our steps and the breath in our lungs, we create a space for mental tranquility and emotional balance. Over time, this simple practice can lead to greater mindfulness in other areas of our lives, helping us to respond to rather than react to life’s challenges.
Walking mindfully also deepens our connection to the world around us. As we become more present, we start to notice the beauty in our surroundings — trees, flowers, birds, and even the feel of the sidewalk under our feet. This immersion in nature and the environment enriches our spirit, reminding us of the larger web of life that connects us to the earth, sky and each other. In essence, mindful walking is a practice of gratitude and appreciation, grounding us in the here and now and helping us find joy in the journey itself.
Acupuncture and herbal medicine are some of the tools I use to support the health and wellness of my patients, but the healing that occurs is always prompted from the inside.
The answers to health and wellness reside in your heart. I help people learn how to listen to their body’s wisdom and reconnect the unconscious mind to nurture the mind-body connection. Doing this work allows people to realize their full capacity and choose to live a life aligned with their values, nourished by their dreams and desires. Together, we co-create opportunities for healing as the process unfolds.
I offer compassionate, attentive care. I see you. I hear you. I celebrate your journey. As an experienced clinician, I support patients as they come home to themselves, reconnecting the mind, body and spirit. This is my greatest passion: to serve as a facilitator, navigator and coach as you transcend old patterns and come into alignment with your best self. Are you ready to choose your Self and celebrate your gifts? Are you ready to manifest your Authentic Self that is abundant with health and vitality? Commit to being present and living your life with intention. Schedule an appointment today and begin to step into your power of self-directed practical magic.
