“The only journey is the one within.”
— Rainer Maria Rilke
Greetings to all my precious people!!
In 1997, fresh from a Stephen Covey workshop on personal mission statements, I created an acronym to guide how I wanted to show up in the world: C.O.A.C.H. Back then, it stood for Cultivating Optimism, Awareness, Creativity, and Hope—a personal compass for living with intention.
I had no idea that a simple acronym would evolve into something far more profound.
Fast-forward 27 years. After founding Touchstone Acupuncture, creating MIDWIFE4MIDLIFE, and guiding thousands of people through their healing journeys, I began noticing something remarkable: the people who experienced the deepest transformation weren’t just following treatment protocols—they were moving through a specific progression.
They started with curiosity about their experience instead of judgment.
They chose optimism even when healing felt impossible.
They developed awareness of their body’s wisdom and their authentic truth.
They found the courage to honor what they discovered.
And in that space, profound healing became possible.
C.O.A.C.H. had evolved from a mission statement into a methodology.
What Is The C.O.A.C.H. Method?
The C.O.A.C.H. Method is a progressive framework that honors both ancient wisdom and modern neuroscience. It’s not about quick fixes or surface-level changes—it’s about the deep, lasting transformation that happens when we learn to work with our whole being rather than against it.
CURIOSITY: The radical act of approaching your experience with openness instead of judgment.
OPTIMISM: Science-backed hope as a practice, not just a feeling.
AWARENESS: Authentic presence that honors what’s actually true.
COURAGE: Heart-centered action that aligns with your deepest values.
HEALING: Integration of mind, body, and spirit into wholeness.
Why This Progression Matters
Here’s what I’ve learned from 30+ years in practice: you can’t skip steps.
Trying to be optimistic without curiosity becomes toxic positivity.
Attempting awareness without optimism leads to harsh self-criticism.
Seeking courage without awareness results in reactive behavior.
Pursuing healing without courage keeps you stuck in familiar patterns.
But when you move through this progression—curiosity to optimism to awareness to courage to healing—something magical happens. You stop fighting yourself and start becoming yourself.
What You’ll Find Here
Over the coming weeks, I’ll be sharing the outline of the C.O.A.C.H. methodology with you. Each letter gets its own deep dive, complete with:
- The neuroscience behind why it works
- Ancient wisdom traditions that support each principle
- Practical tools you can use immediately
- Real stories from people who’ve walked this path
- Research that bridges Eastern and Western approaches to healing
This isn’t just theory—it’s a lived practice that’s been tested in the crucible of real human experience.
A Personal Invitation
Whether you found me through Touchstone Acupuncture, MIDWIFE4MIDLIFE, or you’re brand new to my work, I want you to know: you belong here.
If you’re tired of quick fixes that don’t last…
If you’re ready for transformation that honors your complexity…
If you’re curious about what becomes possible when ancient wisdom meets modern science…
If you’re seeking a path that’s both deeply practical and profoundly meaningful…
WELCOME HOME.
What’s Next?
Last week, the newsletter was focused on CURIOSITY—the foundation that makes everything else possible. I explored why curiosity is the most radical act you can practice in a culture obsessed with certainty, and gave you tools to begin approaching your life with the wonder it deserves. This week, the focus will be on OPTIMISM, the second step in the C.O.A.C.H. method.
When “Think Happy Thoughts” Actually Makes Scientific Sense
“Choose to be optimistic. It feels better.” ~~ Dalai Lama
OPTIMISM isn’t about forced positivity or pretending everything is fine when it’s not. This is about hope as a practice backed by neuroscience.
The Skeptic’s Guide to Optimism
When I was younger, my father’s constant advice to “think happy thoughts” made me roll my eyes so hard I’m surprised they didn’t fall out. How could positive thinking address systemic problems? How would optimism create job opportunities or heal a health crisis?
I became a master at arguing against the power of positive thinking. What I didn’t understand then—what the science is now proving—is that my dad was onto something profound.
Here’s what would have convinced my skeptical younger self: optimism literally extends your life and reshapes your reality.
The Longevity Secret Hiding in Plain Sight
Harvard researchers studying over 159,000 women found that those with the highest levels of optimism lived significantly longer—with a 50% greater likelihood of reaching age 90—across all racial and ethnic groups.
NIH studies on men show similar results: optimistic men experience fewer negative emotions partly because they encounter fewer stressful situations. They literally create different realities for themselves.
MIT’s research on “The Biology of Kindness” reveals that optimism and kindness don’t just make us feel good—they create measurable, organic changes in our biology that enhance well-being at the cellular level.
Translation: Your thoughts literally reshape your body and your reality.
But First, You Must Interrupt the Spiral
Here’s the crucial piece most positive thinking approaches miss: before we can choose optimism, we need to calm the nervous system.
When your mind is hijacked by habitual worry patterns—when that inner voice starts its familiar refrain of “the sky is falling”—you’re in survival mode. Trying to be optimistic from that state is like trying to plant a garden during a hurricane.
This is why CURIOSITY comes before OPTIMISM in The C.O.A.C.H. Method. Curiosity creates the pause. Optimism chooses the direction.
The 5-Minute Reset That Changes Everything
When you feel anxiety rising or overwhelm taking hold, try this Five Senses Grounding technique:
Spend one minute each on:
- Sight: Focus on one object, noting every detail you can observe
- Touch: Hold something, feeling its texture, temperature, weight
- Sound: Notice all the sounds layering around you without judgment
- Smell: Breathe in slowly, identifying scents in your environment
- Taste: Describe what you taste right now
This simple practice moves you from reactive to responsive—the essential first step toward choosing optimism.
Your Optimism Toolkit: Beyond “Think Happy Thoughts”
- Micro-Gratitude Moments—Instead of a lengthy gratitude journal, catch three tiny moments of appreciation daily. The steam rising from your coffee. A text from a friend. Your lungs automatically breathing. Micro-moments create macro-shifts.
- The Learning Reframe—When setbacks hit, ask: “What is this experience teaching me that I couldn’t learn any other way?” This isn’t toxic positivity—it’s practical wisdom gathering.
- Solution-Focus Speed Rounds—Set a timer for 3 minutes. When facing a challenge, spend that time solely brainstorming potential solutions, not analyzing the problem. Your brain will surprise you with its creativity.
- Curate Your Mental Diet—Just as you choose what to feed your body, intentionally choose what feeds your mind. Balance necessary information with inspiring content.
- The Optimism Circle—Identify the people in your life who naturally lift your energy. Spend more intentional time with them. Optimism becomes contagious through proximity.
The Ripple Effect You’re Already Creating
Here’s something beautiful: every time you choose optimism—even for a moment—you’re not just changing your own neural pathways. You’re modeling possibilities for everyone around you.
Your optimism gives others permission to hope. Your belief in what’s possible expands what others believe is possible for themselves.
Research in emotional contagion shows that positive emotions spread through networks faster than negative ones. When you practice optimism, you’re literally contributing to collective healing.
Integration: How Curiosity Becomes Optimism
Notice how these first two steps of The C.O.A.C.H. Method build on each other:
- CURIOSITY asks: “What if I approached this differently?”
- OPTIMISM answers: “What if something beautiful is actually possible here?”
Curiosity without optimism can become endless analysis without action.
Optimism without curiosity can become denial or forced positivity.
Together, they create the foundation for authentic transformation.
When Optimism Meets Eastern Medicine
In my acupuncture practice, I’ve witnessed thousands of moments when someone’s outlook shifted and their physical symptoms followed. Chinese Medicine has always understood what Western science is now proving: mind and body are one integrated system.
When we cultivate optimism—not as denial but as practical hope—we literally change the flow of qi (life energy) through our system. Stress patterns release. Inflammation decreases. The body’s natural healing capacity comes online.
This is why optimism isn’t just “nice to have”—it’s medicine.
Your Weekly Practice: The Optimism Experiment
This Week’s Challenge: The Possibility Lens
Choose one situation in your life that feels stuck or challenging. Each morning this week, ask yourself: “What would be possible here if I believed the best outcome was actually available?”
Don’t force action—just notice what shifts when you approach the situation through the lens of possibility rather than probability.
I’d love to hear from you: What surprised you when you tried viewing a challenge through the possibility lens? How did optimism change your relationship to a difficult situation?
Hit reply and share your discoveries—I read every response and often feature reader insights in future posts (with permission).
Your Optimism Invitation
What if, instead of protecting yourself from disappointment by expecting the worst, you protected your energy by expecting growth? What if optimism wasn’t about guaranteeing outcomes, but about maintaining openness to what wants to emerge?
Next week: We move to A is for AWARENESS—The art of noticing what’s actually happening versus the stories we tell ourselves about what’s happening.
Ready to go deeper? I integrate The C.O.A.C.H. Method into all my healing work, combining ancient wisdom with modern neuroscience. Learn more about working together and book a discovery call.
Know someone who could use a dose of practical hope? Share this post—optimism multiplies when shared.
“Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.” ~~ Helen Keller
P.S. That situation you’re worried about right now? What if you approached it as if the universe was conspiring in your favor instead of against you? Just a thought…
With growing hope and endless possibility,
Kathy
