“Our sense of ourselves is
anchored in a vital connection
with our bodies.”
~~ Bessel van der Kolk
The Art of Seeing What’s Actually True
Greetings to all my precious people!!
We’ve journeyed through CURIOSITY (the radical act of not knowing) and OPTIMISM (hope as a scientifically-backed practice). Today, we arrive at the heart of The C.O.A.C.H. Method: AWARENESS.
This isn’t the awareness that judges or analyzes. This is the authentic awareness that simply sees what is—without the stories, without the should-be’s, without the need to immediately change or fix anything.
This is the awareness that sets you free.
The Hunger for Authenticity
There’s research supporting the profound connection between authenticity and brain health. According to studies published in Frontiers in Neurology, authenticity is defined as “the consistency between an entity’s internal values and its external expressions”—simply put, being true to oneself.
But what does it really mean to live authentically?
After three decades of practice, I’ve watched people transform not when they became someone different, but when they became aware of who they already were beneath the layers of conditioning, trauma, and social expectations.
The Four Pillars of Authentic Awareness
Dr. Stephen Joseph, author of Authentic: How to be Yourself and Why it Matters, has identified what authentic people share:
They know themselves – They can sit with their complexity without needing to resolve everything immediately
They listen to their inner voice – They’ve learned to distinguish between intuition and anxiety, between wisdom and worry
They understand their emotional landscape – They can hold multiple feelings simultaneously without being overwhelmed
They face truth about themselves – They can acknowledge both their gifts and their shadows with equal compassion
In contrast, people disconnected from their authentic awareness “fail to go with their intuitions, get confused about their emotions, and make poor decisions for themselves, instead of doing what they think will please others.”
Sound familiar?
When the Mind and Body Speak Different Languages
Neurologist Antonio Damasio’s groundbreaking research reveals that emotions are generated by the body communicating its current state to the brain. This means your body is constantly offering you information about what’s true, what’s safe, what aligns with your authentic self.
But here’s where most of us get stuck: we’ve been taught to override these signals.
That twinge in your shoulder when you say yes to something you don’t want to do…
The flutter in your stomach when you’re about to speak your truth…
The tightness in your jaw when you’re pretending everything is fine…
These aren’t interruptions to your schedule. These are intelligence signals from your wisest teacher: your body.
The Disconnection That Creates Suffering
Harvard’s Ellen Langer puts it beautifully: “Let’s put mind and body back together. If we treat it as one, then wherever the mind is, so too will be the body.”
Yet we’ve been raised in a culture of mind-body dualism. We think our way through life while our bodies try desperately to get our attention. This disconnection creates what I call internal civil war—when what you think, what you feel, and what you do are all pointing in different directions.
The result? You feel fragmented, exhausted, like you’re living someone else’s life.
The Path Back to Wholeness
Awareness isn’t about having perfect clarity. It’s about developing a loving relationship with your own experience as it unfolds moment by moment.
In Chinese Medicine, we call this radiant state Shen Ming (神明)—”the radiance of the spirits.” You see it in people whose eyes shine with authentic presence, who’ve learned to live from their center rather than their conditioning.
This is what becomes possible when the mind, body, and spirit remember they’re part of the same whole.
Your Awareness Practice Toolkit
The Morning Check-In Before reaching for your phone, place one hand on your heart, one on your belly. Ask: “How am I really feeling right now?” Listen without judgment or the need to fix.
The Values Alignment Scan Weekly, assess: Are your daily choices reflecting your deepest values? Where might you be living someone else’s idea of who you should be?
The Body Compass Practice When facing decisions, notice: Does this choice create expansion or contraction in your body? Does it feel like a “yes” or a “no” at the somatic level?
The Authentic Pause Before responding to challenging situations, pause and ask: “What would my most authentic self do here?” Trust the first answer that arises.
The Internal Weather Report Several times daily, simply notice: “What’s the weather like inside me right now?” Stormy? Sunny? Foggy? No need to change it—just acknowledge it.
Integration: How Awareness Builds on Curiosity and Optimism
Notice the beautiful progression of The C.O.A.C.H. Method:
- CURIOSITY opens the door: “What if I paid attention differently?”
- OPTIMISM provides the hope: “What if positive change is actually possible?”
- AWARENESS offers the clarity: “What is actually true right now?”
Curiosity without awareness can become endless questioning without insight.
Optimism without awareness can become spiritual bypassing or denial.
Awareness without curiosity and optimism can become harsh self-criticism.
Together, they create the foundation for authentic living.
The Ripple Effect of Authentic Presence
When you live from authentic awareness, something magical happens: you give others permission to be real too. Your willingness to show up as you actually are—not as you think you should be—creates space for others to drop their masks.
Research shows that when people feel accepted and valued for who they really are, they naturally begin to extend that same acceptance to others. Your authenticity becomes a gift to the collective.
Awareness in the Healing Journey
In my practice, I’ve witnessed countless moments when someone suddenly sees their patterns clearly—not with judgment, but with compassionate awareness. That’s when real transformation begins.
Symptoms aren’t the enemy—they’re messengers. When we approach our physical and emotional experiences with awareness instead of resistance, we discover that our bodies have been trying to guide us toward wholeness all along.
Chinese Medicine has always understood this: true healing happens when we align with our authentic nature rather than fighting against it.
Your Weekly Practice: The Authenticity Experiment
This Week’s Challenge: The Truth-Telling Practice
Choose one relationship where you can practice showing up more authentically. This doesn’t mean oversharing—it means allowing your genuine self to be seen in small, safe ways.
Notice:
- What feels scary about being more real?
- What happens when you speak from your authentic truth?
- How does your body feel when you’re being genuine versus performing?
I’d love to hear from you: What did you discover about authenticity this week? Where in your life are you ready to be more real?
Hit reply and share your insights—your courage in being authentic inspires others to do the same.
Your Awareness Invitation
What if the person you’ve been trying to become is actually just the person you’ve always been, freed from the need to be anyone else?
What if awareness isn’t about fixing what’s wrong, but about recognizing what’s already whole?
Next week: We move to C is for COURAGE – How authentic awareness gives birth to heart-centered action that aligns with your deepest truth.
New to the series? Catch up with our posts on CURIOSITY and OPTIMISM to understand the full progression of The C.O.A.C.H. Method.
Ready to deepen your authentic awareness? I integrate somatic awareness, Chinese Medicine, and The C.O.A.C.H. Method in my healing practice. Learn more about how we can work together. Schedule a call today!
Know someone who needs permission to be authentic? Share this post—authenticity is contagious.
P.S. Right now, as you’re reading this, what is your body telling you? That sensation, that feeling, that knowing—that’s your authentic awareness speaking. Trust it.
With deep respect for your authentic journey,
Kathy
