I learned a long time ago
the wisest thing I can do
is be on my own side.
~~ Maya Angelou
Greetings to all my precious people!!
What do you need right now?
When was the last time you took a moment to check in with your Self and make a gentle inquiry? We can be very attuned to the needs of others. We know when the baby needs feeding, when the dog needs walking and when our loved ones need a good hug, a long nap and maybe a snack!! But what about us? How often do we touch base with our precious Self and ask what needs to be tended to?
Just let that settle for a moment. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Place your hand over your heart and ask the question to your Self: What do you need right now?
We are in the middle of August, the month of transition that shifts from the fiery yang energy of True Summer to Late Summer, a time for nurturing, nourishment and growth. The concept of “late summer” refers to the fifth season in Traditional Chinese Medicine, which is unique and integral to understanding the body’s balance and harmony with nature. This period falls between late August and early September, bridging the gap between Summer and Autumn.
This powerful fifth season is associated with the Earth element and invites us to cultivate practices that will sustain us through the approaching Autumn and Winter season. Late Summer represents community and reciprocity and is the perfect season to spend time outside with family and friends, taking in the warmth of the Sun and the nourishment of the Earth.
August also marks the midpoint of the Year of the Wood Dragon, which began on February 10, 2024. This year combines the Dragon’s mythical abilities with the grounding influence of the Wood element, symbolizing strength, wisdom, vitality, and new beginnings supported with confidence and courage. It offers countless opportunities for personal and professional achievements, while encouraging boldness to pursue dreams with creativity and passion.
The Year of the Wood Dragon encourages us to draw inspiration from the Dragon’s qualities to welcome change, seek out nurturing relationships, and have the courage to be true to ourselves. A Dragon year brings growth and achievement for those who embrace its spirit, and the Wood Dragon especially encourages us to be bold and step out of our comfort zone while remaining grounded in wisdom.
Have you been able to connect with these Dragon gifts this year? Even with the best intentions, we can lose our momentum and focus when daily life hijacks our schedule and our mind. Late summer is a great time to slow down, reflect and reassess our actions and our intentions. With some introspection, we can consider a course correction if we are out of alignment with our dreams and desires.
Did we fall off course? And if so, WHY? And how do we make a change in direction?
Dr. Emma Sappälä, PhD, psychologist, researcher, and bestselling author, reminds us that our relationship with our Self is the only relationship we have for our entire life. It is the foundation for everything we do, so if there is disharmony or negativity in that relationship to our Self, it interferes with all our other relationships. In her latest book, Sovereign: Reclaim Your Freedom, Energy and Power in a Time of Distraction, Uncertainty and Chaos, Dr. Sappälä speaks to a rampant common habit of self-criticism that interferes with our internal alignment. This negative self-talk contributes to an uneasiness and conflict, both internal and external, impacting our physical health, our mental wellbeing, and the quality of our relationships.
The research in neuroscience and psychology is clear: most of our daily lives are lived on autopilot, with anywhere from 95-99% of our actions prompted by subconscious programming. But let’s highlight the magic of the subconscious mind: it handles many onerous responsibilities. It keeps our body temperature at 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit. It keeps our heart beating at a certain rate and it also keeps us breathing regularly. It effectively uses our autonomic nervous system, to maintain the right balance among the hundreds of chemicals that reside in our billions of cells so that our entire physical body functions in complete harmony. It is also the source and storehouse of our emotions. So we are grateful for this miracle of creation.
But we are also encouraged to be introspective about what lies beneath, so we can weave together the programming plus the dreams and aspirations, to live our most inspired lives.
Did you know that whenever we try to change any of our established patterns of behavior, our subconscious mind makes us feel emotionally and physically uncomfortable? This is a primal response to keep us safe and in the familiar comfort zone. Even thinking about doing something different from what we are accustomed to will automatically trigger a tense feeling and unease. Think back to a time when you wanted to try something new, like changing a job or speaking up in a meeting. Where did the discomfort come from? Where did it land in your body? And what was the interior voice saying to you?
Emma Seppälä speaks about these choice points in our lives, and she says that when we encounter situations and use self-critical language, it translates to ‘self-loathing’ from a psychological perspective. Self-loathing is heavy, and dense, and has nothing to do with self-awareness, yet many of us habitually beat ourselves up with harsh words and phrases, as if this will be encouraging!! Seppälä calls the negative voice in our self-talk the “inner terrorist” who is constantly setting off the fight or flight mechanism in our body. This sympathetic nervous system response keeps us agitated and off balance, keeping us further away from paying attention to the inner workings of our mind. We stay in a reactive mode, versus a responsive, informed mode, all the while draining our energy.
So what is our relationship with our Self? How can we gain awareness of what is happening and working in our lives, or what is not supportive of our journey? Our identity in the world is all about what we can bring to the table, at work, at home or in the community. We want to deliver value, we want to make a contribution … and this is also how we are seen and identified by others. But asking yourself the question WHO ARE YOU is a different level of relationship, stripped of all the exterior trappings. So indeed, WHO ARE YOU and how are you being blocked or redirected from self-knowledge? And why would we even begin this quest of self-discovery?
Remember that we are also influencing the quality of the relationships in our lives based on the inner stories and unconscious behaviors we carry with us. There are so many of us who habitually put ourselves down when we make a mistake, or deflect compliments and yet, how would you respond to your best friend or your child when they told you of a mistake they made? Are you practicing kindness and compassion with everyone else but yourself?
Seppälä suggests that instead of allowing the rumination of “am I good enough” to invade our situations, we can turn that around to asking this question: WHAT IS GOOD FOR ME NOW? It is a practical tactic to create awareness and interrupt the autopilot negativity, and the first step to rebuilding the relationship to ourselves.
WHAT DO I NEED RIGHT NOW?
This phrase can be the secret weapon for you to implement as you get real about how to think about taking care of your self.
Kristin Neff, the leading researcher and educator for self-compassion, advocates writing yourself a letter, as if you to your best friend or loved one, with kindness as you reprogram your words to your Self. And this is a great way to interrupt the thought pattern. BUT we also know from research that when we are triggered, it is very difficult to talk your way out of the situation because you have limited access to the prefrontal cortex where the executive functions of logic, reasoning and response inhibition reside.
Instead, when you feel upset or triggered, begin to choose a tender compassionate way to approach and change the mindset. WHAT DO I NEED RIGHT NOW? It might be a hug, it could be a walk in nature, it might involve getting away from your computer and eating a snack. Trust that you know what you need in certain moments and begin to choose your response, instead of reacting in a habitual way. This can be your new journey to reprogram your relationship to your Self and your body, which translates to a better relationship with all the people around you.
Emma Seppälä also talks about a breathing technique that she has used with veterans to overcome PTSD. Called “SKY (Sudarshan Kriya Yoga) breathing” it is a unique yogic breathing practice that involves several types of cyclical breathing patterns, ranging from slow and calming to rapid and stimulating. You can watch a youtube video about this technique here with a 25 minute module presented by Dr. Kirti Carter: SKY meditation & Breathing technique.
Within the practice of Chinese medicine, there are also many types of breathing techniques that have been shown to be effective for reducing stress and supporting health and wellness. This is a link to an 8 minute video with David Coon – as he demonstrates the easy rhythm of qigong breathing technique can support health and wellness.
And then: there is this idea for you to support your self-discovery. Take a free survey to find out about your character strengths, brought to you by VIA Institute on Character. I always find these little surveys help to reaffirm your inner knowing.
REMEMBER THIS: you are the greatest project you will ever work on. Restart. Reset. Refocus. As many times as you need. Keep going!!!
Acupuncture and herbal medicine are some of the tools I use to support the health and wellness of my patients, but the healing that occurs is always prompted from the inside. The answers to health and wellness reside in your heart. I help people learn how to listen to their body’s wisdom and reconnect the unconscious mind to nurture the mind-body connection. Doing this work allows people to realize their full capacity and choose to live a life aligned with their values, nourished by their dreams and desires. Together, we co-create opportunities for healing as the process unfolds.
I offer compassionate, attentive care. I see you. I hear you. I celebrate your journey. As an experienced clinician, I support patients as they come home to themselves, reconnecting the mind, body and spirit. This is my greatest passion: to serve as a facilitator, navigator and coach as you transcend old patterns and come into alignment with your best self. Are you ready to choose your Self and celebrate your gifts? Are you ready to manifest your Authentic Self that is abundant with health and vitality? Commit to being present and living your life with intention. Schedule an appointment today and begin to step into your power of self-directed practical magic.
