“Finding the center of strength within ourselves is in the long run the best contribution we can make to our fellow human beings…
this is what our society needs… persons who can “be”, that is,
persons who have a center of strength within themselves.”
~~ Rollo May
Greetings to all my precious people!!
The season of Pisces is upon us and critical conversations are stirring up feelings, dreams, and forgotten wounds. The emotional downloads are potent with opportunities to release and recover, but at the same time we are encouraged to remember that support and wisdom for this journey are available to claim and trust. During the next 18 months, prepare to encounter new dimensions in consciousness, as we all learn how to navigate the world by creating shifts and establishing a new order.
Have you ever wondered about the unseen forces that shape our health and illness cycles? Some things seem to correlate with a direct impact, like being around people sneezing and coughing during flu season, while other ailments arise without warning. Sometimes it is the thing we cannot measure that actually makes the biggest impact, that delivers the deepest wound, that surprises us with its curious nature. Healing is not always about what we see, but more about what we are willing to consider and explore outside our comfort zones.
Stephen Levine, renowned Buddhist teacher, American poet and grief counselor, tells us that long after an initial loss has passed and the period of grieving has ended, an unattended sorrow still lingers. This unacknowledged space of heartbreak and grief can account for a host of physical, emotional and spiritual maladies, and it is not uncommon for those with unresolved grief to lean toward addictions, dangerous behaviors and other forms of self-destruction.
In his book Unattended Sorrow, Levine writes: “Nothing is more natural than grief, no emotion more common to our daily experience. It’s an innate response to loss in a world where everything is impermanent. We don’t know what to do with our pain, and we never have. We have been told to bury our feelings, to keep a stiff upper lip to ‘get over it and get on with our lives’ as though loss were not an inevitable part of life. As a result, our sorrow goes unattended and manifests itself in many unexpected ways.” There’s something powerful about turning toward what we have left unattended—both the physical spaces in our lives and the deeper emotional ones we’ve tucked away.
Unattended spaces often reveal more than we expect. A cluttered corner of a room, a neglected garden, an unopened journal—all hold remnants of our past decisions, distractions, or even avoidance. The same is true for the unattended sorrows we carry. These are the quiet griefs, the disappointments we brushed aside, the wounds we never fully acknowledged. They don’t disappear just because we choose not to look at them. Instead, they settle into the fabric of our being, shaping our thoughts, behaviors, and even our physical bodies.
There seems to be a natural rhythm in life when these unattended spaces and sorrows start making themselves known, often aligning with transitional phases.
For many, this happens in midlife, around the late 30s to 50s, when the busyness of building a life—career, family, responsibilities—starts to slow just enough for the echoes of the past to be heard. It can also happen during major life shifts: the end of a relationship, the loss of a loved one, an empty nest, retirement, or even a health crisis. These moments create space for reflection, and what was once buried or ignored often rises to the surface.
The body is deeply intelligent, and unattended sorrows don’t just disappear—they lodge themselves in the tissues, the nervous system, and the energetic field. Some common ways they manifest include:
- Chronic Tension & Pain – Unprocessed emotions can create areas of tightness, particularly in the shoulders, neck, jaw, and hips.
- Digestive Issues – The gut is sensitive to emotional suppression, leading to bloating, constipation, IBS, or nausea.
- Fatigue & Burnout – Carrying unexamined sorrow takes energy. The body may respond with exhaustion, brain fog, or adrenal depletion.
- Breath Restrictions – Shallow breathing, tightness in the chest, or an inability to take deep, full breaths can signal unresolved grief.
- Sleep Disturbances – Nighttime is when the subconscious speaks. Insomnia, frequent waking, or vivid dreams might point to unattended emotions seeking attention.
- Autoimmune Flares & Inflammation – Long-held emotional stress can dysregulate the immune system, contributing to flare-ups of chronic conditions.
The body doesn’t lie. If something within is longing for attention, it will find a way to be noticed. The question then becomes: How do we listen? How do we create space for what we’ve left unattended?
What in your body or life feels like it might be asking for attention right now?
Paying attention to these spaces—both external and internal—can be an act of reclamation. This focused attention is a way of saying, I see you. You matter. Sometimes, all that sorrow needs is recognition, a moment of breath and presence. Other times, it asks for more—perhaps a ritual of letting go, a conversation that was never had, or the simple act of making space for joy again.
In Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), the body is seen as a dynamic system of interconnected pathways, constantly seeking harmony. When emotions or experiences are left unprocessed, they don’t just vanish—they settle into the body, often in areas where energy (Qi) is unable to flow freely. This is called stagnation, and it can manifest physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Common Symptoms of Unattended Spaces & Their Corresponding Organ Systems
- Grief & Unprocessed Loss → Lungs & Large Intestine
- Symptoms: Shortness of breath, frequent sighing, tightness in the chest, chronic cough, skin issues, constipation
- The lungs are connected to letting go—of breath, of past hurts, of old identities. The large intestine assists in release. When grief is unattended, we might struggle with holding on too tightly or feeling empty inside.
- Repressed Anger & Frustration → Liver & Gallbladder
- Symptoms: Migraines, muscle tightness (especially shoulders and neck), eye strain, PMS, digestive discomfort
- The liver is responsible for the free flow of Qi. When we suppress anger or resentment, the liver’s energy stagnates, leading to tension, heat, and emotional outbursts—or complete shutdown.
- Fear & Uncertainty → Kidneys & Bladder
- Symptoms: Lower back pain, exhaustion, adrenal burnout, anxiety, sensitivity to cold, ringing in the ears
- In Daoist philosophy, the Kidneys are the foundation of life force (Jing). Long-term stress, fear, or feelings of instability deplete this deep reservoir, leading to exhaustion on all levels.
- Overthinking & Emotional Rumination → Spleen & Stomach
- Symptoms: Bloating, worry, nausea, sugar cravings, brain fog, weak muscles
- The Spleen governs digestion—both physical and emotional. When we fixate on thoughts without resolution, digestion weakens, leading to fatigue and a sense of heaviness.
- Heartache & Disconnection → Heart & Small Intestine
- Symptoms: Insomnia, palpitations, anxiety, lack of joy, poor circulation, tongue ulcers
- The Heart is the seat of Shen (spirit). When unattended emotional wounds accumulate, we may feel disconnected from our passion, our relationships, or even ourselves.
Healing the Unattended Spaces
Healing in TCM and Daoism is about creating movement where there is stagnation, restoring flow where there is depletion, and nourishing what has been neglected.
- Breathe & Release (Lungs & Large Intestine)
- Practice deep breathing, especially long exhales to encourage emotional release.
- Drink warm teas with honey, ginger, and marshmallow root to soothe the lungs.
- Let go of physical clutter—clearing your space helps clear emotions.
- Move & Express (Liver & Gallbladder)
- Engage in movement-based practices like Qigong, Tai Chi, or shaking therapy.
- Journal unspoken anger, allowing yourself to acknowledge it without judgment.
- Use sour foods (lemon, vinegar) and bitter greens to stimulate liver function.
- Restore Deep Reserves (Kidneys & Bladder)
- Prioritize rest and warmth—hot foot soaks, early bedtimes, restorative yoga.
- Reduce caffeine and overworking, as these drain the Kidney energy.
- Sit in stillness with a hand over your lower abdomen, breathing into your core.
- Ground & Nourish (Spleen & Stomach)
- Eat warm, cooked foods (soups, stews, root vegetables) to support digestion.
- Reduce overthinking by practicing single-task focus (one thing at a time).
- Use gentle self-massage around the abdomen in a circular motion.
- Reconnect & Cultivate Joy (Heart & Small Intestine)
- Laugh, sing, and engage in heart-opening practices.
- Use rose tea, cacao, and warm herbal infusions to soothe the heart.
- Engage in meaningful conversations and touch—massage, hugging, or self-holding.
Honoring the Unattended Spaces
Daoist philosophy teaches that nothing is truly forgotten—only waiting to be reintegrated. When we finally turn toward the spaces we’ve neglected, whether emotional or physical, we reclaim wholeness.
Instead of asking, What do I need to fix? Consider the following question:
What is calling for my presence?
Where in your body or life do you feel an unattended space asking to be seen?
The 5-5-5 breathing technique, also known as Triangle 5-5-5 Breathing or the Five-Count Breath, can help with stress, anxiety, and concentration. It can also help you feel more calm and balanced.
Benefits:
- Stress and anxiety: Activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which can help you feel more relaxed and less stressed.
- Concentration: Focusing on your breathing can help you focus on tasks and improve your mental clarity.
- Emotional balance: Can help you regulate your emotions and feel more stable.
- Inner calm: Can help you find a sense of tranquility and inner calm.
- Emotional resilience: Can help you build resilience so you can handle challenges more easily.
How to do it:
- Inhale for five counts.
- Hold your breath for five counts.
- Exhale for five counts.
- Visualize these counts as forming an upside-down triangle.
Deep breathing can also help with:
- Reducing inflammation
- Supporting your immune system
- Reducing pain
- Promoting healing
- Promoting sleep
- Improving respiratory health
Here is a 5 minute youtube video to follow along with the 5-5-5 Triangle breathing technique:
This is the best time—the perfect time—to evolve beyond your current self-created limitations and create more room for the unattended spaces. Manage your accountability to withstand the onslaught of algorithms and other outside distractions. Be kind and sensitive to the more messy, vulnerable, and chaotic parts of yourself as you establish reconnections to all your parts. Develop strong boundaries and be selective about the opinions and advice of others. Pay attention to your dreams, to the synchronicities and symbols that appear. Trust the somatic messages of your body’s signals as it speaks to you in the language of your eternal and essential Self.
Not I, nor anyone else can travel that road for you.
You must travel it by yourself.
It is not far. It is within reach.
Perhaps you have been on it since you were born, and did not know.
Perhaps it is everywhere – on water and land.
~~ Walt Whitman
