“Love and compassion don’t at all have to make us weak,
or lead us to losing discernment and vision.
We just have to learn how to find them.
And see, in truth, what they bring us.”
– Sharon Salzberg
Greetings to all my precious people!!
There’s a moment every Autumn when you walk outside and suddenly know – not think, but know – that everything has shifted. The light falls differently. The air carries both the fullness of harvest and the promise of release. Your body recognizes what your mind might miss: this is the season of discernment, when Nature herself demonstrates the profound art of knowing what to keep and what to let go.
The Whisper Between Wonder and Wisdom
In Traditional Chinese Medicine, Autumn belongs to the Metal element – the Lungs and Large Intestine working in perfect partnership to take in what serves us and eliminate that which does not. It’s no accident that this is also the season when midlife calls us toward our deepest wisdom work. At this intersection of experience and possibility, we’re finally equipped to practice what the trees have always known: there is sacred intelligence in the art of letting go.
The Science of Sacred Choosing
Modern neuroscience reveals what ancient wisdom always understood – our brains don’t fully develop the capacity for complex discernment until our 40s and beyond. The prefrontal cortex, responsible for executive function and nuanced decision-making, continues maturing well into our fifth decade. Meanwhile, research from Stanford’s Center on Longevity shows that older adults demonstrate superior “crystallized intelligence” – the ability to draw from accumulated knowledge and experience to make better choices.
Dr. Laura Carstensen’s groundbreaking work on socio-emotional selectivity theory demonstrates that as we become more aware of time’s finite nature, we naturally develop enhanced discernment about relationships, goals, and how we spend our precious energy. We stop chasing every opportunity and start choosing only what truly matters.
This isn’t decline – it’s refinement. Like Autumn leaves concentrating their essence before release, midlife offers us the gift of knowing ourselves well enough to choose consciously rather than react habitually.
The Medicine of Metal Season
In Chinese medicine, Autumn’s Metal element governs both inspiration (taking in through the Lungs) and elimination (releasing through the Large Intestine). When this system is balanced, we breathe deeply and release easily. When it’s disturbed, we either hold onto everything (constipation, both physical and emotional) or let go of too much too quickly (diarrhea, scattered energy, inability to commit).
The emotion associated with Metal element is grief, not as pathology, but instead, as natural wisdom. Healthy grief allows us to honor what has been while making space for what’s becoming. It’s the sacred pause between holding and releasing, the moment when discernment becomes possible.
Signs your Metal element needs attention:
- Difficulty making decisions (too much holding)
- Impulsive choices you later regret (premature releasing)
- Shallow breathing or feeling “breathless”
- Physical or emotional constipation
- Inability to let go of past hurts or outdated beliefs
- Overwhelming sense of loss without allowing the grief process
Cultivating Discernment as Sacred Practice
The Breath-Body-Wisdom Triangle
True discernment happens not in our heads but in the integration of breath, body, and accumulated wisdom. Here’s a practice for this week:
Morning Discernment Ritual (5 minutes):
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Breathe Deep: Take three conscious breaths, feeling your lungs fully expand
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Body Scan: Notice what feels heavy vs. light in your body today
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Wisdom Check: Ask yourself: “What am I holding that’s ready to be released? What am I avoiding that’s ready to be embraced?”
Throughout the Day – The Pause Practice: Before any significant choice, pause and ask:
- Does this expand my breath or contract it?
- Does this align with who I’m becoming or who I used to be?
- Am I choosing from fear or from wisdom?
The Equinox Gateway
The Autumn Equinox on September 22nd offered us the perfect moment of balance – equal day and night, equal holding and releasing. As we move deeper into Autumn, we’re invited to embody this balance in our daily choices. What if every decision became an opportunity to practice the art of sacred discernment?
This week’s lunar energy: As we approach the New Moon in Libra (September 29th), we’re supported in making choices that create greater balance and harmony in our lives. Libra energy asks: What needs to be weighed? What relationships, commitments, or beliefs need rebalancing?
From Personal Practice to Community Medicine
Here’s what I’m discovering: the women I work with who are navigating midlife aren’t just seeking personal transformation. They are being called to become wisdom-keepers for their communities. The discernment you develop through your own healing journey becomes medicine you can offer others.
This is why I’m passionate about creating local opportunities for what I call “Modern Wisdom Work” – not just retreats for reflection (though those have their place), but active laboratories where we use our accumulated experience as material for healing ourselves and our world.
Questions for Community Reflection:
- What wisdom have you gained through your challenges that could serve others?
- How might your discernment skills be exactly what your community needs?
- What would it look like to step into your role as a modern elder – someone who bridges wisdom and wonder?
Integration Invitation
As you move through this week, practice seeing your choices not as burdens but as opportunities to exercise your discernment muscles. Every “yes” and “no” becomes sacred when approached with conscious awareness.
Notice what wants to be released from your life – not dramatically, but with the gentle certainty of Autumn leaves. Notice what wants to be embraced – perhaps something you’ve been avoiding because it felt too big, too bold, too authentically you.
Remember: you are living at the intersection of all your experience and all your possibilities. This is not just midlife – this is your wisdom season. And the world needs what you’ve learned to discern.
Next Friday: BREATHE – Learning to Inhale Possibility and Exhale What No Longer Serves
P.S. If this exploration of discernment as sacred practice resonates with you, I’d love to hear how you’re experiencing this season of choosing. Your wisdom-in-action could be exactly the medicine someone else needs to hear.
“Compassionate action emerges from the sense of openness, connectedness, and discernment you have created.”
~~ Joan Halifax
